Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
