We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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