Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
