I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
