Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
