dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize