She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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