I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
