Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
