Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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