Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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