I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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