Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
