You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
