they need to just BURY HIM!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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