What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
