I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
