Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
