Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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