I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
