think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
