yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
