Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
