I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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