you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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