i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize