There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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