I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
