You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
