you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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