he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
