he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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