I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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