I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
