I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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