We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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