you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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