Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
