so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
