every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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