I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
