new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
