My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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