oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
