I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
