oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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