Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
