Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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