Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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