that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there was a trapeze. enough said
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
