I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
