My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
