im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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