My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
