A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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