He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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