Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
