I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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