My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
