My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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