She went from zero to smokin in five shots
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
