just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
