everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
