1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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