i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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