1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
