dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
