Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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