Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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