I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
